


i'm so encaptured (got me wrapped up in your touch)

by jaesungs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Open ending kinda, i lied i think there are like 2 makeout scenes, idk - Freeform, it's like canon but kinda not?, kinda wrote this to procrastinate on all my other works, kun and jungwoo are there for 30 secs, makeout scene, taeyong is there for like 2 mins, ten's in his feels, yukhei is my baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 05:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16469543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaesungs/pseuds/jaesungs
Summary: "You are all the colours in one, at full brightness."- Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places✭✭✭Ten realizes for the first time as he’s crying that when he looks down at his hands, all he can see are Yukhei’s fingerprints. And, he knew if he looked in the mirror he’d see the shape of Yukhei’s perfect lips covering his neck. And, if he looked at his hips they’d be marked by Yukhei’s hands.And, if he could see his heart, it would have Wong Yukhei tattooed down the middle in the exact center because no matter how much he fought it, Wong Yukhei owns his heart. Completely.





	i'm so encaptured (got me wrapped up in your touch)

**Author's Note:**

> yukten nation make some noise

When most people look at Wong Yukhei, they see fuckboy or a player or something. But, when Ten looks at Wong Yukhei all he can see is the same person he fell in love with all those years ago: a loud goofball with the prettiest smile and the most beautiful laugh. 

And, Yukhei has this aura to him, Ten admits without hesitation. Yukhei acts a certain way for the cameras. He puts on this playboy act, and Ten—when he’s a little drunk—will confess to nobody (maybe Johnny or Taeyong) that it hurts. But, Ten gets it. He really does understand that it is quite literally showbiz. They all do it, exaggerate sides of them for the camera that they don’t usually show.

“You’re thinking about him,” Taeyong rolls his eyes and Ten blinks twice to clear his vision.

“Am not,” Ten denies, fingers scrolling aimlessly through the pictures he took earlier that day. He scrolls too far and runs across the picture that has recently become his new phone home screen. It’s a picture of Wong Yukhei himself that Ten took. Yukhei was lying in bed on his stomach, hair disheveled, and window blinds casting shadows on his muscular back. He’ll admit he snuck into Yukhei and Jungwoo’s bedroom to take it.

“You are such a terrible liar.” Taeyong types away on his phone as they sit on Ten’s bed in his dorm. “Like, such a bad liar. Everyone knows, so I don’t know why you insist on hiding it.”

Ten sighs and turns his phone off. He throws it in the middle of the bed and collapses onto his pillow. “It’s not that. It’s just...like...it’s impossible.”

“You’re making excuses.” Taeyong sets his phone down on the bedside table next to him and lays down too. He turns and faces Ten. “If you love him, then you should just tell him. I mean...you guys literally kissed before.”

“We were drunk,” Ten says with another sigh. The whole debacle just makes him want to crawl into bed and eat ice cream for hours.

“Okay, but there was that other ti-”

“We agreed it was a mistake.”

“I think it’s more like you told him it was a mistake before he even got a chance to respond,” Taeyong gives him a pointed look before continuing, “you literally didn’t give him a chance.”

Ten gulps. “I got nervous that he regretted it.”

“It’s not like you definitely made him feel like you regretted it.” Taeyong rolls his eyes. 

Ten pouts, bottom lip jutted out and eyes big and mopey. “It’s not my fault he made me nervous.”

“You make him nervous!” Taeyong exclaims, exasperated by Ten’s lack of sense. “I’ve never seen him panic so much unless he’s around you.”

Ten closes his eyes. “I don’t know anymore, Tae. I’m just so confused all the time. And, he’s always so busy with his schedule and stuff I barely see him. I’m so tired of being stuck in these fucking dorms.”

“It’s okay,” Taeyong rubs Ten’s arm, even though he has no idea how to comfort him. 

“Dream In A Dream sums up all my problems,” Ten announces honestly. “When we were making it, it was just a video, you know? But, now, I think I finally understand the concept of the song and music video.”

Taeyong smiles sympathetically. “It was always more than a video, even then. You were already in love with him. It was so obvious then, just like it’s so obvious now.”

“I just wish he would love me back.”

“He does love you.”

“You know what I mean,” Ten hears his alarm go off. “The way I love him. I’ve been running in circles with him since we’ve met.”

Taeyong reaches for Ten’s phone and turns off the alarm for him. “If I could help you, I would, but we both know that I can’t.” He pauses and checks the time on Ten’s phone. “You have to be at practice in less than ten minutes.”

Ten laughs like anything is funny. He laughs because it hurts more to sit in silence. It hurts that he’s let one boy deteriorate him to a mess. “The only reason I set that alarm is because he comes home around this time. And, if I wait a certain amount of time I can avoid seeing him.”

“It really hurts you that much, huh?” Taeyong climbs under Ten’s comforter right as Ten gets rolls off the bed. 

Ten grabs a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt from his dresser drawers. He looks over his shoulder at Taeyong who’s already half-asleep. “Sometimes.”

“I understand,” Taeyong replies quietly. 

“I know.”

 

Like most people in his band, Ten enjoys his late night thinking. He’s sitting in the dorm’s kitchen on the island, legs hanging over the edge with a glass of water in hand a music blasting through his headphones. 

Their kitchen was Ten’s favorite place to think because the only people who really ever came there were Kun or Jaemin when they wanted to cook. Nobody was cooking at one A.M. usually.

“Your music is so loud,” Yukhei greets, stepping in between Ten’s legs and snatching a headphone from Ten before the older can stop him. He drops it on the island and pulls Ten forward, resting his hands on the older’s hips. He grins at Ten.

Ten pauses his music and pulls the other earbud from his ear. “You’re so drunk.” He can tell by the way Yukhei’s eyes are bloodshot, hair a mess on the top of his head, and white button up half untucked. He can smell it on him too, the booze and sweat probably from some party he snuck out to.

Yukhei shrugs his shoulders and pushes Ten shirt up above his hips, touching his freezing cold fingers to the warm skin. Ten shudders. “I’m so drunk.”

He presses his lips to Ten’s neck. “C’mon, Xuxi,” he tries, but he’s weak and Yukhei knows his body so well, too well maybe. Yukhei bites down on that spot on Ten’s neck, causing the other to moan. He gives in and lets Yukhei pull him closer, lets him leave hickeys all over his neck even though he knows he’s going to get shit for it. 

Yukhei pulls back and stares into Ten’s eyes before grabbing the back Ten’s neck and connecting their lips.

Ten knows Yukhei is drunk, knows that he doesn’t mean it, but he lets himself lean into Yukhei’s body. His hands reach for Yukhei’s hair, grabbing at it as his legs wrap around Yukhei’s waist, trapping him there. Ten’s heart was beating so hard he could hear it as his chest constricts. 

Yukhei’s lips are soft and taste like beer. Ten slides his tongue across Yukhei’s bottom lip before beginning to kiss his jaw. 

The younger kisses just like you would expect. He’s impatient and greedy, he wants all of it or nothing at all. He cares so much, but when he enjoys something he enjoys it, and it’s often hard for him to see all the consequences of enjoying it. He tugs at the hem of Ten’s t-shirt and Ten immediately understands. He stops nipping at Yukhei’s neck and lets the younger pull his shirt over his head. He tosses it over his shoulder and leans back in.

But, Ten doesn’t go back to kissing Yukhei right away. He presses his pointer finger to the younger’s lips, shushing him. “We shouldn’t be doing this. You’re so drunk.”

“I want you so bad,” Yukhei whines, hands roaming over Ten’s bare hips. “So, so bad.”

Ten closes his eyes and takes a deep breath because he wants Yukhei so bad. He wants Yukhei in ways more than Yukhei wants him. “W-we can’t.”

And, he’s on the verge of tears when he realizes that even if they do this, are with each other, that he’ll never be able to get over Yukhei. But, he does cry when he realizes that even if they aren’t with each other, he’ll still be so in love with Wong Yukhei that it hurts to breathe. Avoiding him hurts more than seeing him and loving him was better than hating him.

“Please stop crying,” Yukhei whispers, too drunk to know what to do. If he were sober, he would probably be too overwhelmed to deal with it anyway. Yukhei is a people person, but he’s a people person when it’s easy. When it gets hard, when everything becomes a muddled mess of feelings and complicated shit, that’s when it becomes too much. That’s when he shuts down.

Ten sniffles and wipes his own tears. He takes a deep breath. “You should go to bed,” he mutters. Yukhei’s hands are still on his waist so he grabs them and pushes the younger away from him. “You’re going to be hungover as fuck tomorrow.”

“I don’t care about that,” Yukhei slurs, falling back into Ten. “I don’t care about anything but you. You know that.” Yukhei’s head is resting in the crook of Ten’s neck, despite him still having to crane uncomfortably to place it there.

“You don’t mean it,” Ten dismisses. “When you wake up tomorrow you won’t remember any of this.” Yukhei doesn’t respond and Ten feels so helpless. “C’mon. Let’s just go to bed, okay?”

Yukhei is already ready to all over. He’s clingy and insists on carrying Ten to his bedroom. “Please, please, please, please?”

“We’re going to die. You can barely hold yourself up, but you expect to be able to carry us both to bed?” Ten smiles at Yukhei’s determination, but the possibility of breaking something is not appealing.

“I can do it.” Yukhei slides his hands under Ten’s thighs and picks him up with ease. Ten wraps his arms around Yukhei’s neck and doesn’t say a word as they stumble towards Yukhei’s bedroom. 

Yukhei sets him down on the bed softly, like he’s a delicate flower. He falls down next to Ten, still dressed in all his clothes. “Fuck.” 

Ten gets off Yukhei’s bed, suddenly glad that Jungwoo is off somewhere else because having to explain this whole thing to him tomorrow morning would be a nightmare. “You should probably shower, but I’m not going to force you.”

“Good,” Yukhei says, eyes closed. “Too tired.”

“Thought so.” Ten turns on his phone flashlight before he unbuttons Yukhei’s jeans and pulls them down without much of a fight. He throws the jeans toward something that looks like a hamper in the dark, only his shitty flashlight illuminating the room. He lets his fingers trail over Yukhei’s hip bone out of pure weakness. 

Yukhei is knocked out in less than ten minutes and Ten throws a blanket over him. He caresses Yukhei’s cheek. 

“That video we were in,” he murmurs quietly to nobody. “It was like living inside of my brain when I really think about. You lived in my mind as someone who I could never reach, no matter how close I was to you, we always missed each other by a couple of seconds. And, at the time it was just a concept. But, now, it’s like I’m stuck reliving that entire video.”

 

“He’s hungover as hell,” Jungwoo announces when he walks into the kitchen around noon. Ten is sitting on the island again, only this time he’s watching Kun cook lunch. 

Ten shrugs his shoulders. “Take him some pain pills.”

Jungwoo walks by Ten towards the pill cabinet. “Kun, have you made any of your hangover cure remedies?”

“No, sorry,” Kun frowns, stirring whatever’s on the stove. “I didn’t know Yukhei was going to get drunk on a Wednesday night.”

“Me either,” Jungwoo walks back by Ten but retraces his steps when he notices the different bruises on Ten’s neck. He walks over to Ten and runs a finger over the hickeys. “Jesus. You got mauled by a wild animal.”

“I already scolded him,” Kun tells Jungwoo. 

“Match the ones on Xuxi’s neck,” Jungwoo points out, a smirk crossing his face. “Guess I know who dragged his drunk ass to bed.”

“Also explains the t-shirt Jeno found on the floor this morning,” Kun laughs.

Ten covers his face with his hands, shaking his head in shame. “Fuck”

“I will never understand why you guys insist on acting like you’re not totally in love,” Jungwoo rolls his eyes. “You should take him the meds. He probably wants to see you.”

Ten shakes his head, eyes wide at the thought. “N-no. I don’t want him to even remember last night.”

“Suit yourself,” Jungwoo sighs. “I’m tired of you guys doing this, you know? Everyone knows. Everyone. The only people who don’t know are apparently you guys.”

“C’mon,” Kun waves his spoon at Jungwoo. “Take him his pills and let Ten be angsty in peace.”

Jungwoo laughs and waves goodbye as he walks to his bedroom with a bottle of water and painkillers in hand.

“When will you guys stop giving me shit about Yukhei?” Ten pouts and crosses his arms over his chest. 

Kun rolls his eyes. “When you finally admit how you feel to him and stop making the rest of us suffer.”

“Then I guess never, huh?” Ten hops off the counter and walks over to Kun. He happily tastes tests Kun’s dish and smiles. “Tastes good.”

“Please go ask Xuxi if he’s hungry and maybe while you’re at it discuss your issues?” Kun nudges Ten in the direction of Yukhei’s bedroom.

“No thank you.” Ten attempts to walk back to the island, but Kun holds an arm out for him and catches him. 

“Talk. To. Him.” He turns Ten around and shoves him towards Yukhei’s door. 

Ten knocks on the closed door and Jungwoo opens it. “He’s in the shower. You can wait in here. I will be outside.” Jungwoo doesn’t give him time to respond before he leaves his own bedroom and shoves Ten inside.

Ten sits down on Yukhei’s unmade bed as he hears the shower running. He peered around Yukhei’s side of the room, which was not only a mess but such a mess Ten couldn’t stand being around it. He crawled onto the floor and began to pick up the assortment of clothes Yukhei dropped everywhere.

“You probably wouldn’t be shocked if I told you that I haven’t cleaned since last month,” Yukhei says and Ten turns around, sitting on his butt. 

“I wouldn’t.” Ten tries his hardest, but his eyes trail down Yukhei’s upper body before stopping at his waist where his towel starts. His chest is covered in water droplets dripping from his soaking wet hair because Yukhei, for some unknown reason, has something against drying his hair with a towel. It takes his breath away, it always does. Wong Yukhei has taken his breath away since they met.

“Hand me those pants, please?” Yukhei points at the sweats next to Ten’s thigh. 

Ten picks them up and gags. “Jesus Christ, no! You’re not wearing these. If I could, I would throw these in the trash.”

“Hey! I like those pants.”

“They smell like rotten eggs and...and shit.”

“Still wearable.”

“Wait here,” Ten rolls his eyes. “I think I’m going to either trash these or put them in the laundry right now.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Yukhei tries to stop him, but Ten’s already stood up and walked to his bedroom. 

He grabs his basket of laundry and walks it to their washing machines. He starts the load quickly, not wanting to be around the stench of Yukhei’s pants any longer. He comes back into Yukhei’s room and is glad to see that the younger has put on a sweatshirt and a different pair of sweatpants.

“Surprised you have an off day,” Ten mutters, sitting down on Jungwoo’s bed. He sees that Yukhei’s hair is still dripping water onto the shoulders of his sweatshirt.

“I don’t,” Yukhei purses his lips. “I’ve got something scheduled for tonight.”

“Oh,” Ten nods, nervously playing with his fingers. “That’s probably going to be hard.”

“Yeah.” Yukhei shakes his head and water shakes off his head so far it hits Ten.

Ten gulps. “C’mon, I’ll dry your hair for you.” His brain is screaming that it’s a bad idea, like a really, really, really, really bad idea. But, his heart is bursting at the thought. 

“Are you sure?” Yukhei asks, apprehensive about the whole thing. Despite what Ten believes, he notices more than he lets on. 

“Y-yeah,” Ten coughs. “The water is dripping on your sweatshirt and it’s driving me crazy.”

“Control freak.” Yukhei stands up.

“Better than wearing dirty clothes off the floor,” Ten says playfully. They walk into the bathroom and Ten clambers on top of the counter of the sink, already knowing that even sitting on it he would still be struggling to reach the top of Yukhei’s head.

“Touche.” 

Yukhei stands in between Ten’s legs, hands on the sides of Ten’s thighs. “Xuxi…” Ten breathes out, trying to keep his composure.

“I’m not drunk anymore,” Yukhei mumbles, pressing his nose against the vein on Ten’s neck. 

“I know,” Ten whispers into Yukhei’s wet hair. He doesn’t care that his hair is dripping onto his shirt. He puts his hands on Yukhei’s cheeks and forces his head out of the crook of his neck. “We need to dry your hair.”

“No, we don’t,” Yukhei argues with a smirk on his face. Ten pinches his cheek to remind him that he doesn’t have to be that person around him, he doesn’t have to be some cocky player. He can be the Wong Yukhei Ten fell in love with. 

Ten reaches around Yukhei and grabs the blow dryer. He plugs it into the wall and holds his hand out. Yukhei pouts as he clutches his hairbrush before placing it in the palm of Ten’s hand.

“So,” Ten says, turning the dryer on the hottest setting. “What do you have scheduled today?” He runs his fingers through Yukhei’s hair, knowing how much the younger enjoys it.

“Photoshoot and then I think filming for some show,” Yukhei’s hands tighten on Ten’s thighs. “You should come with me.”

Ten almost laughs. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I don’t wanna go without you,” Yukhei whines, arms wrapping around all of Ten’s body. 

Ten doesn’t respond, but instead just dries off Yukhei’s hair. It smells like vanilla and Ten wishes he wasn’t obsessed with it. But, that’s like asking the sun to stop shining and the sky to stop being blue. It’s like asking the oceans to turn to dust. Because Ten loves Wong Yukhei to the ends of the earth, beyond the Milky Way in the galaxy

He finishes drying Yukhei’s hair and turns the dryer off. He fluffs the younger’s hair a bit, running his fingers through the brown hair. “You’re good.”

 

“Are we good?” Yukhei questions, still hugging Ten like his life depends on it. 

There’s a second of silence before Ten begins to nod his head. “Y-yeah.”

“You don’t sound very sure.”

“We’re fine,” Ten assures, a small grin on his face. “I should go. Kun was cooking.”

“You don’t have to go,” Yukhei disagrees, hugging Ten harder. “Stay.”

“I shouldn’t,” Ten swallows hard, chin resting on the top of Yukhei’s head. “I can’t.”

“I don’t get it,” Yukhei steps back, breaking their embrace. “I don’t get you. Y-you kissed me last night. I remember. B-but now you want nothing to do with me? You’re fucking with my head.”

Ten has his hands grasping onto the hood of Yukhei’s sweatshirt. He doesn’t let go, can’t bring himself to. “I-”

“Like, one second you’re kissing me and I think everything is going fine and then the next second you’re avoiding me like the plague.” Yukhei takes Ten’s hands in his own and holds them. “I can’t keep acting like I don’t notice it. I notice it. I feel the same way. Why is this so hard for you to understand?”

Ten licks his lips. “B-because you’re so young...and like it’s not right. This isn’t right,” he gestures between them. 

“It’s three years,” Yukhei frowns. 

“It’s not right. Nothing about this is right,” Ten pulls his hands from Yukhei’s grasp and jumps off the counter. “I'm sorry.” Ten feels the tears forming in his eyes and he tries his hardest to stop from crying, but he’s so exhausted he can’t.

Yukhei wipes Ten’s tears with his thumb. “What do I have to do to show you I love you? What do you need me to do?”

“Oh, Xuxi, I already know,” Ten smiles sadly. He puts his hand on Yukhei’s cheek and rubs the top of his cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. “I love you, too. So much.”

“Then why can’t we be together? What is stopping us?” Yukhei’s eyes are wide with confusion, bottom lip swollen from being chewed on. 

And, Ten didn’t really have an answer for him. Not a clear one that could be comprehended at all.

Because I’m scared. Because I’m a coward that loves you so much, but I’m scared you’re going to break my heart. Because I’m more scared I’m going to break yours.

“I-I’m sorry.” Ten rubs Yukhei’s cheek one last time before practically sprinting to his room. He tumbles into his bed and pulls the cover up over his head so he can muffle his sobbing.

Ten realizes for the first time as he’s crying that when he looks down at his hands, all he can see are Yukhei’s fingerprints. And, he knew if he looked in the mirror he’d see the shape of Yukhei’s perfect lips covering his neck. And, if he looked at his hips they’d be marked by Yukhei’s hands.

And, if he could see his heart, it would have Wong Yukhei tattooed down the middle in the exact center because no matter how much he fought it, Wong Yukhei owns his heart. Completely.

 

“Wait...let me get this right. Y-you’re in love with Yukhei...and he’s in love with you too...but you won’t date him?” Taeyong stops his fork in the air, looking scandalized. His noodles fall of the fork back into his bowl and he sighs heavily. It’s too late for this.

Ten purses his lips and shrugs, gripping his own fork so tightly his knuckles turn white. “I...yes?”

“Jesus Christ you guys are hopeless.” Taeyong takes a bite of his food, shoulders slumping forward. He chews and swallows, feeling more confused than ever by Ten and Yukhei. “B-but why?” 

“He’s, like, a baby.” 

“He’s like 200 centimeters tall”

“180, actually,” Ten facepalms when he realizes what he’s said and Taeyong just gives him a knowing look.

“I guess, I just don’t see why this has to be such a struggle?” Taeyong says, shrugging his shoulders. “Like, you know he loves you.”

“I’m scared,” Ten confesses, throwing his head back in frustration. 

“Why?” Taeyong huffs, finishing his food and taking a sip of water.

“B-because,” Ten doesn’t know how to answer. Taeyong rubs his arm with an understanding smile. If anyone understands what Ten’s going through, it’s Lee Taeyong.

“I know you’re scared because love is scary. Because y-you don’t realize that it’s possible for you to suffocate in your own love for someone. Loving them just comes so easily to you...it’s so simple, so effortless. T-their smile can make your whole day. And, you’re theirs without them asking for it and you don’t even mind. But, then one day you wake up and learn that bees drown in honey and butterflies die flying...and you know.”

“Y-you know that while love is so natural, such a normal thing, it can do so many things to you. It can even kill you.”

“And, it can set you free.”

 

Ten’s favorite activity, besides dancing, is to listen to his sad music when he’s already depressed. He finds that adding onto his extreme sadness helps him understand that he’s really sad. 

“God this music is depressing,” Yukhei mutters, leaning against the doorframe of Ten’s room.

Ten looks up from his phone but doesn’t bother to turn down the volume. He shrugs his shoulders and stares back down at his screen.

Yukhei pauses a moment before walking into Ten’s immaculate room. “Like, this is some other level sadness songs.” He crawls into Ten’s bed, making himself somehow look so small and cuddly.

He tugs on the bottom of Ten’s shirt and Ten looks down at Yukhei’s wide eyes. “What?”

“Kiss me,” Yukhei whines, shifting to make himself more comfortable on Ten’s bed. He kicks off his socks and sticks his legs under Ten’s comforter and sheets. He slides off his t-shirt and throws it onto the floor next to his socks. Ten has to bite his lip from saying anything.

“Shhhh, I can’t hear my sad music.” Ten doesn’t even know what he’s looking at now, thumb scrolling through his pictures again aimlessly. He stops on a picture of Johnny that he took and Yukhei grunts.

“Why don’t you take more pictures of me?” 

Ten hums along to the song for a moment before answering. “Sometimes I do.”

“Really?” Yukhei asks, suddenly sitting up with a big smile on his face. 

“Ye-” Ten begins to speak, but Yukhei is already snatching Ten’s phone from his hands to look through the pictures on the older’s phone. Ten reaches for his phone, but he’s not fast enough. He grabs onto Yukhei’s arm and pulls down in a vain attempt to get his phone back. Somewhere in the middle of their fumble for Ten’s phone, the home button is pushed and Ten’s home screen is on full display.

“O-oh,” Yukhei examines the picture thoroughly while Ten hides his face in his hands. “This is me?” He asks it like it’s a question, but Ten knows it’s not. “When did you take this?’’

“A few weeks ago?” Ten sighs heavily, chest deflating. 

“It’s really good,” Yukhei compliments with a sincere smile on his face. “You are so talented.”

Ten blushes under Yukhei’s gaze. “I mean, it’s just a picture.”

“N-no,” Yukhei argues, turning Ten’s phone off and tossing it somewhere on the bed in front of them. He turns to face Ten and takes the older’s face into his hands. “Anyone can take a picture, no everyone can make it look as good as you do.”

Ten grins so big his eyes disappear. “Thank you.”

“Kiss me,” Yukhei says again, this time leaning in toward Ten. “Please.”

“I-” Ten doesn’t know how to answer because he doesn’t want to say no. 

Yukhei bites his lips, eyes staring at Ten’s lips, hands still on the older’s face. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

Ten doesn’t do anything but nod, a little dumbfounded. Yukhei leans in and softly presses his lips to Ten’s, which is different than what Ten was used to. The kiss is soft and slow, no tongue, no hair pulling and desperately grabbing at each other. 

It literally takes Ten’s breath away. As he pulls back, his breathing heavier than usual. He stares into Yukhei’s eyes and smiles. “You kissed me.”

“I did,” Yukhei agrees. “And I’m going to do it again.”

Yukhei sticks to his word and kisses Ten again, this time tangling his fingers in the older’s hair and pulling him closer.

Ten stops hearing the music in the background and can only hear his heart beating as he kisses Yukhei back. He places his hands on Yukhei’s neck and throws his leg over Yukhei’s, sitting on his thighs. Ten knows kissing Yukhei like he knows breathing, it comes so naturally to him, like he’s done it over a billion times.

He pulls back, lips swollen and hair a mess on the top of his head. Yukhei doesn’t look any better than him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Yukhei answers honestly. “A-and I know you’re afraid, but we’re all afraid. I-I’m scared that you’re going to wake up one day and realize that you don’t love me. I’m afraid you’re going to be doing laundry and then it hits you that I’m not good enough.”

Ten goes to argue, but Yukhei presses his fingers to Ten’s lips. “Coming to terms with that has to screw everyone over. T-the way we live, our lifestyle...we both know that one second we can be on the top of the world and the next second we can be at rock bottom...it’s just the way it is. B-but, I don’t want to experience that with anyone but you. I don’t want to be without you.”

Ten doesn’t realize there’s a tear slipping down his cheek until Yukhei wipes it away. He sniffles. “I don’t want to break your heart.”

“I know,” Yukhei says, a soft smile on his face. “But you probably will. And I’ll probably break your heart, too. But it’s worth it. You’ll always be worth it.”

“I once believed that loving someone could kill you,” Ten smiles a little, wiping his tears away. “And it can, but love can also set you free.”

Yukhei didn’t respond, just grinned foolishly and kissed Ten again.

Ten lets his mind drift away from all his anxiety and towards his gratitude for the life he has.

The next morning he wakes up and looks over at Yukhei who’s flipped over on his stomach still asleep. Ten realizes then that bees drown in honey and butterflies die flying, but that doesn’t stop them from doing it. It doesn’t stop bees from making the sweetest substance on earth and it doesn’t stop butterflies from migrating to the warmest parts of the world. Just like loving someone can hurt so bad, but it doesn’t stop people from doing it.

When Ten looks at Yukhei his heart is so full of love for one person. He doesn’t forget all the doubts he has, he doesn’t act like they aren’t there. But, he continues to love Yukhei with his entire heart because he was made to love. Everyone is made to love, even if it is terrifying.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! leave a comment/kudos because they make me feel special. :)
> 
>  
> 
> [twit](twitter.com/bluesidejeno)


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